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"DoN't LeT mE DiE hErE" [entries|friends|calendar]
~*~HoPeLeSs DrEaMeR~*~

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you wish [12 Sep 2004|07:00pm]
[ mood | content ]

oh and don't be a nutcase and think every post i make from now on is about you.. please.. don't flatter urself you.. time to go lie to other people.. =)

OHHH and i just gotta laugh about it too. MmMmM i love being me and not any of you.. cause ur just too pathetic to even think about

2 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[10 Sep 2004|11:15pm]


11 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

"7 days and 7 nights of thunder, i think i fell with the 8th world wonder" [11 Apr 2004|12:30am]
[ mood | melancholy ]

im in long island today.. went shopping for a while.. 2 pairs of pants.. and 4 shirts.. and i still have money.. its amazing..

tomorow i'll be home around 4ish.. give some ppl calls.. see whats up

im going to sleep soooonnn tirrrreeeedddd

ooo and btw i hope YOU burn in hell where u belong.. fyi... =)

"i feLl in love with the 8th world wonder"

4 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[10 Mar 2004|02:44pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

well last night i get home from work.. and i was talking to my brother and i thought he sed somethng about blockbuster so im like yeah mike sure get in the car and i'll drive ya and my flips out saying im never getting a car.. if im lucky and no C's on my report card(uhhh im no genious.. precalc is hard with a teacher who doens't speak english and chem is stupid with a teacher who decides lets change how we do things in the middle of the year this ridulous).. mebbe i'll get one b4 senior year.. and its not only a car.. im not guna be able to drive myself.. he doens't understand what this is doing to me.. he already told me im never going to college and end up a piece of shit.. now i gotta take ne last dream i have and stomp on that too.. every dream ive had since i was 12 consisted of me driving and having friends in the car.. going where i want and when i want to.. and for once in my life im independant and not dependant.. id rather walk then have my parents drive me somewhere.. or rather stay home if i going like to the mall or some where cuz what if i wanna leave i can't.. its stupid.. im 17.. i have a license.. i have witnesses that say im a good driver... you even sed it.. let me take the car.. let me pay u the money to put my name onm ur insurance and let me take it.. or help me with buying my own car.. i just want sum independance thats all.. i don't think its too hard to ask for my parents not to stomp on every last dream i have and make me cry b4 i go to sleep never get to sleep till 2 a.m. and HmMmM i wonder why i can't get up in the morning... they wonder why i can't wait to go off on my own.. im sure its hard.. but im getting no practice so sheltered here.. and waitch one of my parents are gunna read this and get mad and im gunna get yelled at and in trouble and end up being punished by like paying rent (which i sed i would do ne way)

well theres my ranting.. i gotta go to work.. lata

2 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

random thought [30 Jan 2004|11:43pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

i wanna drive alone sooo baddd lol haha

9 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[21 Jan 2004|03:04pm]
[ mood | blah ]

well back to school...

me and kristin had to go in with our neck braces.. a bunch of ppl asked what happened and are like u kno ur the second person i saw with a neck brace on.. i was like yeah no shit we were in the same car.. school was school tho.. leavin 5 minutes early from class fun.. no gym..

gotta go back to the drs today.. then mebbe i'll actually do something with the rest of my day.. later

2 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

ME!!!!!!!!!!!! comment to be added [14 Jul 2003|12:07am]
9 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[13 Jul 2003|11:59pm]
WeLlLl for the most part i m happy =).. i m letting the feeling take over and its great!!!

good past few days.. went bowling today.. OO yeah soo cool.. eh.. but lotta fun
2 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[04 Jul 2003|03:20pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

ugh this is soo ghey.. they wake me up at 8 in the morning to go to the beach.. fine.. w.e idc.. they all they do is fight.. on the way there and back.. blah blah blah.. i didn't go i the water cuz i just wanted to leave...

now my dad wants to go to Pt. Pleasant for GOD knows wut reason.. okay fine u want to spend family time together.. make sure u get along with the family.. hes like if we stay home ur gunna leave and ur mom is gunna fall asleep.. i m like so what.. its every other day.. just let me out.. ugh.. soooooo bored

Stab Me

[03 Jul 2003|11:57pm]
[ mood | content ]

after being annoyed by this stupid lady who thought she was charged wrong.. i let out a sigh and this guy goes.. u kno u got really pretty eyes.. hehe that made me smile

worked today.. lil funny moments.. hehe

tomorrow i think i m going to the beach

then hopefully to dani's

sat work-- then go to pat play

sun- work then "janenes going away party" movies and rubys.. who wants to come.. christa... dani.. andreww..

my weekend.. FUNNNN yeah oaky

10 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

[01 Jul 2003|10:26pm]
well had a good day.. then a bad night.. my phone got wet.. all well idc.. i sed i would pay for it..

then my dad piks me up and i couldn't sleep over dani's.. hoy ghey!!! holy shit.. i was having such a good time too.. this sucks mucho!!! and now i gotta sit home with no one to talk to once again.. and be sad.. thanks..

FYI i have no phone.. and i can't recieve calls after 10.. so bye
Stab Me

[30 Jun 2003|12:29pm]
[ mood | calm ]

well just woke up.. got work at 3 to 10..


Stab Me

[29 Jun 2003|04:41pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

hey i'm getting there.. sooner or later i'll move past it!

i'll make it!

on a totally seperate note

i was thinking and no wonder i never trusted ppl b4.... like i stopped trusting alotta ppl within 6 months.. i only trust 6 people.. ALOT with my whole life.. and i would give mine up for them in an instant.. and thats alotta ppl i kno i can trust when i need them.. but it used to be more.. just thinking about it.. ya know.. just part of growing up..

again on a totally seperate note

i went in my shed today for the first time since like last year.. and i looked around and i found a BK cup and hat on my bikes.. it brought back so many goddamn memories i started to fuckin cry lol... now that was fun.. all those memories mostly with christa that was great times!!!!

Stab Me

[27 Jun 2003|06:09pm]
plz call me tonight!!!!!!!!! <3
Stab Me

"there a guy in every girls life that she will never forget, and the summer that started it all" [27 Jun 2003|06:05pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

seeing charles angels tonight.. whatwhat mother fucker lol.. with melissa dani tara and edd.. tomorrow met game.. woot woot.. hellz yeah..

Stab Me

"just tell me you love me cuz thats all i want to hear" [27 Jun 2003|04:26pm]
[ mood | regretful ]

you know wut sucks

when you look back on previous decisions and u realize how stupid u were!!!

i do that ALL the time.. i have soo many regrets and everytime i try to fix them i get kiked in the ass.. i regret not being madd when i should and crying each night. not being happy.. i regret every decision i made that changes my relationship with chris.. i regret giving up in school last marking period.. i regret making myself cry.. i regret about almost every decision i have made in the past 3 months.. but i am trying.. really hard.. i don't try this fuckin hard in school or with ne of my friends.. with him its different so i don't mind trying and i will keep trying cuz i kno he loves me back... i love you.. just him saying that could change my mood soo quickly u have no idea.. i can be in the worst mood about to fuckin kill some1.. just when he tells me he loves me or that he cares or when he holds me i m on like cloud 9.l. u have no idea..

Stab Me

[27 Jun 2003|11:23am]
[ mood | bitchy ]

well this is my new LJ.. just add me everyone

well yesterday tara and dani slept over.. dani left.. shannon came.. dani came back.. ate pizza... watched rainbow.. and strangeland.. AGAIN.. then shannon left and me dani and mikey walked to ritas and met up with ashley amanda sissy mike david eric loren and lindsay.. we went to ashleys pool and chylled there for a while.. then back to ashleys.. chylled.. then dave and andy came and we all went for a walk and ish

then i came back home and dani slept over again.. had a stupid convo on the phone that accomplished nothing.. and look not even drunk and i wanna yell!!!!!!! wutev.. yeah.. so many ppl i haven't seen this summer already.. doesn't matter not like they call me hahaha so FUCK YOU!!!! i don't care.. u don't try i don't try wutev.. just screw u all!!

maybe its not me this time.. its allll u.. mebbe this time i won't get kiked in the ass for wutev i do.. mebbe u will and u kno wut i hope u do.. cuz i m sick and tired of feeling like shit.. i m sick and tired of going to sleep crying every damn night.. i shouldn't have to.. i've done my best this year to be good a good friend and good wutever.. and yeah we all make mistakes but i never hurt some1 the way i feel right now.. but still no one understand.. i don't expect ne one to.. but you shouldn't try understand if u don't then tell me to get over it and wut not.. times like these i DO want to DIE!!! but no one cares cept like a handful of ppl.. cept the one person i want to care the most doens't seem like he does.. and wutev i sed last night i m almost positive did nothing.. i try so damn hard.. and it hurts me to kno that supposebly MY BEST FRIENDS know more about him then i do.. when i m supposed to know.. but i know nothing.. and no one knows wut that feels like.. so wutev.. fuck you bye!

2 Blood Puddles| Stab Me

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